Fulfilling the need for belonging and love is basic to mental health. In their relationships with you, young children can feel acceptance and develop positive interaction skills they will use all their lives.
Goals
This section's mental health goals are to encourage children
to:
1) listen
and communicate with family and friends.
2) develop
skills needed to maintain meaningful relationships.
3) value all
living beings with acceptance and appreciation of differences.
Develop mental Considerations
Young children separate from their parents as they gain confidence in their ability to relate to others. In this process they become more aware of their "social" selves, the group, and their place in it. Their peer group becomes very important. This is the place where children begin to compare themselves to others and learn to negotiate and cooperate in their expanding world.
As members of a peer group, children experience belonging and discover the value of friendships. They also assume a variety of social roles - daughter, playmate, student, friend, and helper.
Relating to adults outside the famIly is also a critIcal step for young children. Responding to new expectations, establishing limits within relationships, and developing trust with adults can be exciting and challenging.
For preschoolers these social experiences with peers and
adults can foster a sensitivity for others, respect for feelings, and recognition
of different perspectives.
The tone you set and the way you arrange your classroom can provide a context for positive social relationships, open communication, and cooperation.
Atmosphere:
- Greet children at their level, using their names and making positive statements. "I'm glad to see you. Sally. Look how easily you unzip your jacket now." You can set a positive tone for social interactions throughout the day.
- Encourage conversation by asking fun or unusual open- ended questions. "What do you like to do on rainy days?" When you begin questions with "How ..., Why ... , Where. and What.. . ," children have the freedom to respond in many ways. "Do you..." ." limits their possibilities. Meals are especially good times for conversations. You have a small group, a quiet activity, and time to share.
- Listen intently to children's conversation, observe their body language, and respond with acceptance and understanding of what you hear and see. When children feel accepted, they are better able to reach out to others.
- Involve children in the work of the classroom. Feeding pets, cleaning up, setting the table, cooking, washing dishes, planning activities and meals help them learn to cooperate and assume responsibilities. What other jobs can the children do?
- Respect individual temperaments - your own, your co workers, and the children's. Personal qualities such as activity level, adaptability, and intensity Influence interactions. Respect a child's desire to be alone, as well as with others. Some children need regular breaks for quiet time.
- Foster interaction by doing most of your activities in small groups. Young children benefit from the extra time, space, and attention this provides.
- Introduce all visitors to the class. You will be modeling a social skill for the children, helping your visitors feel comfortable, and respecting the children's right to know who is in the classroom.
- Children can assume responsibility for cleaning up the classroom. Store toys and materials at their level and in containers easy for them to handle. Use labels with symbols the children understand, such as block shapes, to guide their efforts.
- Photographs displayed at eye level can help children recognize that they belong to many social groups - friends, family, and their preschool class. Encourage them to bring in photos. Include group and individual pictures.
- Use the physical set-up of the classroom and available materials to promote interaction and cooperation. Large blocks or notched boards for building can be used more easily by two than one. A couch or mattress for reading together, a small play space for "two children only," a large paper or appliance box for a few to decorate, a seesaw, and a wagon are all tools for relating.
Teachers help children enjoy satisfying relationships by valuing and supporting efforts to interact. Your skills as an observer, communicator, facilitator, and model contribute to a mentally healthy environment in which young children can feel belonging, learn how their actions affect others, and develop relating skills.
Observe Children's interactions. Are they seeking relationships? Are they relating well? Are they developing special friendships? How do they relate to adults? To children? Preschoolers have a wide range of social skills, reflecting both developmental and temperamental differences. Accept them where they are.
Communicate with children. Let them know you are concerned and interested in their well-being. Acknowledge their healthy interactions. When they cannot solve a problem on their own, intervene and help them through the process. Encourage them to explain the circumstances and describe their feelings. Listen carefully and guide them towards an acceptable solution.
Facilitate relating throughout the day. Plan projects, such as murals or cooking, that children can do together. Emphasize cooperation. "Jill, would you hold the cup for Courtney while he pours the oil." Encourage such joint efforts at clean up, meal, and play times. "Melissa, you look like you want to help. Ask Kate if you could pass the blocks to her." Build their relating vocabulary by using and discussing words like cooperation, sharing, teamwork, and problem solving.
Some children are not ready to meet the expectations of the group. Accept them as they are. Offer alternatives, allowing them to do things by themselves while others are gathered in a group.
Model acceptance and healthy ways of interacting
with children and adults. The value you place on each child and her feelings
will set a standard for all. Every day use the listening and problem-solving
skills that you want children to practice in their relationships. The tone
you set will influence their behavior. As they experience belonging, they
can begin to accept and value each other.
| Benefits:
Materials: Groundwork: |
When children are encouraged to think about what they need to do to
get along, they will better understand their role in helping the classroom
run smoothly.
Poster board, magic markers. With your staff, think carefully about your expectations for having the children get along in the classroom. Some examples might be using words instead of hitting, putting materials away when a project is finished, making room when another child wants to join an activity, walking when inside, or asking for food to be passed instead of reaching. |
| The Experience: | Early in the year, discuss your list with the children. Talk about
the different groups all of us belong to - our families, our preschool,
or a Sunday school class - and why the members of any group need to get
along.
Together, "brainstorm" ways for everyone at preschool to get along. In the process, have the children experiment - run and then walk, talk quietly and then shout. "How does it feel? What things do we need to do to get along together?" Make a list on poster board. Illustrate it with drawings or photographs so the children can "read" the list. Review the poster from time to time. There may be changes you or the children will want to make as the year progresses. |
| Variations: | When you plan new or special activities, discuss with the group what they will need to do to get along. Such activities might include field trips to a nursing home or grocery store, or having important guests visit the classroom. Review your poster or make a different one. |
Preschool and day care teachers have a nurturing role with the children they care for. Part of this role is responding to the children's need for touch. With the current emphasis on physical and sexual abuse, many caregivers are more cautious about touching children than they once were. This is an unfortunate development, as young children need to learn to relate to others in this very basic way.
Abundant research documents the importance of touch and human contact. Studies of babies and children reared in institutions demonstrate that an extreme lack of holding, touching, and tactile stimulation results in diminished growth and inability to make human attachments. Gentle touch shows a child she is cared for and accepted. Human contact allows some children to release tension. It can be a warm positive communication from a man, woman, or another child.
However, as with all aspects of temperament, each child varies in the amount and kind of touch she needs, wants, or can ask for. What relaxes one may over-stimulate another. One child is comforted by your hand on her shoulder, while another needs to be held in your lap. Sometimes the child who consistently resists touch is the one who needs it the most.
Observe carefully and, with time, you will gain a sense of what each child needs from you. The reluctant child's resistance may be overcome by classroom pets. Try a fond pat on the head or a gentle touch on the arm as you pass by. Hold the child who wants more closeness in your lap during stories. Sit side-by-side to do an activity. Give her hand a special squeeze after a circle. A rocking chair invites soothing contact.
It is important that you and your co-workers keep this
important way of relating alive and well in your classroom. Hold open discussions
with parents as part of developing a policy. Voice your concern for the
children's physical and emotional well-being and the importance of touch
in their development. Once you have a policy, communicate it to everyone
involved in your program.
| Benefits:
Materials: Groundwork: |
When children spend time with senior citizens, they have an opportunity
to express and receive caring as they learn to appreciate others.
Children's books. Contact your local senior citizens center to locate individuals who would enjoy reading with children from your class. This might happen only once or on a regular basis. if you are unable to travel to them, arrange for the senior citizens to come to your center. Meet ahead of time to discuss the experience and what to expect. Bring along books for re-reading. What activities have they enjoyed doing with children in the past? How would they like to be introduced? |
| The Experience: | Divide your class into four groups and schedule monthly visits for
each. ideally, about five children and two or three senior citizens will
get together each week. Before a visit, let the children know who they
will meet, what they will be doing, and what they will see. Share photos
of past visits.
Take several children's books for the senior citizens to read to the children. Make careful introductions. A quiet area with couches where they can sit close together is ideal. If you think it seems natural to the children, suggest they give hello or goodbye hugs. Encourage them to listen quietly and talk about what has been going on at school. Capture the experience with photos, to be enjoyed later by classmates and the senior citizens. Consider other activities they might share - simple games like lotto, a walk, a "tea party." |
| Reflections: | Look for individuals who are enthusiastic and able to interact with
young children. It is important to choose an appropriate setting. Protect
the children from potentially confusing or frightening situations.
One teacher noted that it felt good to do this experience." She found that some of the children who were uncomfortable at first got a chance to enjoy and become familiar with elderly people. The senior citizens benefited as well. |
| Variations: |
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| Benefits:
Groundwork: |
A lesson in sign language provides children with another way to express
caring and acceptance.
This experience works best with a small group. Children of all ages will enjoy learning to talk with their hands. Practice the three signs for I love you until you feel comfortable with them:
love: Give yourself a hug. (Hands are loosely closed with palms facing you and thumb beside each fist. Cross both arms just below the wrists and bring them toward you until hands touch your chest.) you: Point to the other person. (With right fingers curled under and thumb outside, point outward with straight index finger.) |
| The Experience: | "We are going to begin by covering our ears with our hands for a few
moments. . . Did you notice it was hard to hear when your ears were covered?
Some people don't hear as well as others. Some don't hear at all. This
is called being deaf. Some deaf people learn a special and beautiful language.
Today we are going to learn how to say "I love you" in Sign Language.
Demonstrate the three parts of the phrase, asking the children to Imitate the signs. Let your face, as well as your gestures, communicate. Repeat the signs several times. "Who would you like to say 1 love you too?" Talk about where and when the children might use the signs. |
| Reflection: | Signs stand for words and letters. However, their reliance on movement gives them an expressive, dance-like quality which captures the imagination of children. |
| Variations: |
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| Benefits:
Materials: |
A cooperative cooking project is a relaxing and satisfying social event
to which children can easily contribute.
Four spoons, 2 small bowls for eggs and bananas, egg beater, 3 large mixing bowls, 2 muffin tins, soap and water, pre-measured ingredients for "Never-Enough Muffins": bowl 1:
Bowl 2:
Mix both bowls separately. Then mix together, leaving lumps to avoid overmixing. Fill oiled muffin tins 2/3 full. Bake at 400' for 20 minutes. Makes 24. |
| Groundwork:
The Experience: |
Set up ingredients and equipment at a classroom table, or in a kitchen
area well away from the stove. Plan to work with only four children at
a time, so that they participate in all phases of the project. Another
group can cook next time.
This project has three distinct phases: preparing, serving, and washing up. Give clear directions for each step. Convey the value and cooperative nature of their work, as well as the enjoyment of wonderful smells, tastes, and textures. Give each child a special task for each phase, whether peeling or mashing bananas, beating eggs, mixing, oiling tins, serving, washing, rinsing, or drying. Avoid the dangers of hot stoves to preschoolers working in a group by having an adult put the tins in the oven and later take them out to cool. Notice and comment on the details of children's individual work and cooperation. Talk about the foods and where they come from. When you're finished, make cleaning up as much a social occasion as the cooking. |
| Benefits:
Materials: Groundwork: |
Children experience giving, caring, and social interaction when they
share their favorite foods with the class.
Magazines with pictures of food, scissors, paper, glue, or a set of food picture cards. This project should follow nutrition activities that Introduce the concept of healthy foods. As you carry it out, you can continue to talk about good nutrition. |
| The Experience: | Have each child plan a breakfast or lunch menu to be prepared for the
entire class. Do this on a random basis, giving each child a special day.
Guide children in planning balanced meals. Jennifer, your lunch needs a
vegetable. What is your favorite vegetable? You may want to send a letter
home, asking parents to share their child' s favorite recipe, or even to
come in and prepare the meal.
Help each child make a poster about her menu to share with the class when her meal is served. Add this menu to her BOOK ABOUT ME. |
| Reflections: | Staff found that children really enjoyed the special attention they
got during this project. There was also an increase in appetites when a
classmate was responsible for the day's menu.
This Is a good opportunity to tap a child's ethnic or family heritage. Share one of your special dishes with the children too. In two centers, the cooks were responsible for helping the children plan their meals, make their posters, and present their menus to the class. |
| Variations: | If your center does not prepare its own meals, let the children plan snacks. Put together a snack cookbook for parents. |